[members] Fw: [ELCC] ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS

[Mark Velky]

CLNW Member

    Passing it along from the ELCC. I have seen parts of this before, but not everything. Thought you might get a kick out of it.

Mark
 
----- Forwarded Message -----
From: "Vegaskwest at aol.com" <Vegaskwest at aol.com>
To: elcc_org at googlegroups.com 
Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 2013 3:37 PM
Subject: [ELCC] ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS
  


This 
is a simple and logical explanation that everyone should understand!

 
ELECTRICAL 
THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS 

Positive 
ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of 
negative ions by retention of the visible spectralmanifestation known as 
“smoke”. Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know 
this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical 
circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through 
empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the 
terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the 
battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping 
from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be 
observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary 
and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the 
smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets 
all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors 
were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because 
they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large 
wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly 
more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American 
counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and 
all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, 
hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and 
British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it 
follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic 
is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of 
transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical 
explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units 
manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: “A gentleman does not 
motor about after dark.”

Joseph Lucas “The Prince of 
Darkness”
1842-1903

A few Lucas quips:

The Lucas motto: “Get 
home before dark.”

Lucas is the patent holder for the short 
circuit.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - 
Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas 
switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.  
  
The 
other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The Original 
Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.

If Lucas made guns, wars would not 
start.

Back in the ‘70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and 
began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which 
did not suck.

Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?  
A: 
Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.

This has been referred to as the 
smoke theory when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done 
for.
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